Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
