..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
