the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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