I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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