we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
