If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
