theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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