God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
