AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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