I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
