I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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