Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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