Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
