you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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