at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
