am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
