just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
