Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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