I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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