You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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