No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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