he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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