No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
