i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
