She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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