just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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