So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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