I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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