From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
