In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think im going to throw up on grandma
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
