D3 body, D1 cock
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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