Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
