Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Text me some of your sweat
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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