wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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