The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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