we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
