i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
