i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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