i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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