i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
