I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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