I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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