Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize