I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
