you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
