we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
