I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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