he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
