I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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