I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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