So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
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