See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
