At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize