her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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