i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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