I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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