she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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