I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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