I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
