i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
