i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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