i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
