used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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