Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
