Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
