i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
