dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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