We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize