This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
