thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize