Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
