remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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