You can't motorboat a personality
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
