she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
