She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
