I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
