I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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